She had never felt so lonely before. Staring at her blurry reflection in the lake, she realized that the deformed face she was seeing was in fact the expression of her entire life. Over put lines, without a defined shape, just attempts, beginnings without endings, painful memories of what she would never accomplish. Her whole existence has suddenly appeared as being somebody else’s. She did no longer recognize any of the memories flashing fast in her mind. The blond haired guy that she thought she had loved as a child; the story with a long hair girl coming out of the water, that her nanny used to read each and single day; the funny pompoms she was wearing in the first school day; the fast heart beatings when a boy kissed her for the first time, all those firsts, the emotion she would never relive, the chills she was missing more than anything else; the unbelievably beautiful winter morning when her mother died; all the moments she used to lie on the carpet of her room, with the door closed, trying to kill the pain without any results; the evenings when she would talk to the sea, begging it to take her; and all those questions she would never find answers for…
No, she thought, this is not me. I was just a mute witness to all these. Nobody ever asked me if I wanted to be born. They just threw me out in this overcrowded world and left me figure out my way. What if I can’t? Did anybody care about that?
“Do you think that if Eve wouldn’t have eaten the apple it would have been different?”
He didn’t answer.
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